RADIO

Mr Price-ident - a satire.




1.

MVO VO: The White House, yesterday.

SFX: Running feet in a hurry.

MVO ( American, a bit panicky):

Mr President! Mr President!

MVO2 ( American, irritable):

What is it, Larry? Can’t you see I’m watching Rambo 3? This is the best one.

MVO: Sorry sir, I just wanted to wish you…happy birthday, sir!
SFX: Fweet! Fweet! (party whistle)

MVO2: Uh…Larry - it isn’t my birthday.

MVO: …it’s not? But sir! It says in the Globe Times,
‘Widespread celebrations for Mr Price-ident’s 21st”!

MVO2: My birthday was last month – remember? My present was Tasmania?
Larry – this means there’s another president out there.
I want you to find out who this guy is,
and I mean now Larry – put the A-team on it!

SFX: Footsteps running away.

SFX (sing song): Happy 21st Mr Price- ident, happy birthday to you…















2.

MVO VO: The White House, last night.

SFX: Running feet in a hurry.

MVO ( American, a bit panicky):

Mr President! Mr President Sir!

MVO2 ( American, irritable):

What now, Larry? It’s been a long day. Had the Blaires
here from London again. Can’t make out a word they’re saying, can you?

MVO: Not a word, sir – but sir: I’ve found out who this “Mr Price-ident” is.

MVO2: Sock it to me, Larry.

MVO: The CIA lists him as a Mr Price – some sort of fashion icon in
…South Africa? Anyway, he’s turning 21.

MVO2: South Africa?…that’s somewhere in….what – Africa?

MVO: Yes sir. Africa.

MVO2: Uh huh. What part of Africa?

MVO: I’m not sure, sir. Our maps only show the USA, Canada and England.

MVO2: Well snakes alive, how big is this planet? I thought we’d conquered
it all!

SFX (sing song): Happy 21st Mr Price- ident, happy birthday to you…

















3.

MVO VO: The White House, ten minutes ago.

SFX: Running feet in a hurry.

MVO ( American, a bit panicky):

Mr President! Good morning, sir!

MVO2 ( American, irritable):

Hi, Larry. Just doing my (grunts) yoga exercises…Larry
– what are you wearing?

MVO: Uh…these, sir? RT jeans. My cousin sent them out from South Africa.
They’re from Mr Price-ident!

MVO2: Saints alive, Larry! He’s even got to you! I’m the president of the world, Larry, me! Not this young upstart, this Mr Price! Call the generals!

MVO: Sir? They’re all on a duck-hunting trip.

MVO2: Well gosh darn it, where’s Steven Seagal then? Send him to Africa for a friendly chat with this Mr Price-ident.
Know what I mean, Larry?
Know what I mean?

MVO: Right away sir!

SFX: Footsteps running away.

SFX (sing song): Happy 21st Mr Price- ident, happy birthday to you…












MVO VO: The White House, just now.

SFX: Running feet in a hurry.

MVO ( American, a bit panicky):

Mr Price- Mr President! Telegram for you sir!

MVO2 ( American, irritable):

This better be important, Larry. I’m choosing a new shade of paint for the White House. What do you think about purple – isn’t that 'hip'? – or maybe pink…

MVO: Sir, it’s from Mr Price…it’s an invitation to his birthday celebrations, in South Africa! Can we go, sir? Can we?

MVO2: Didn’t we send some guy to knock that sucker’s lights out?

MVO: Yes sir – Mr Price bought him out with free muscle tees.

MVO2: Gosh darn it! OK then, we’ll go to Africa. Hunt some kangaroos and show this guy who the real president is!
Invite Billy Graham, OK? And get Air Force One ready for take off!

MVO: We can’t sir. You’re wife took it to Dubai for a shopping spree.

MVO2: Well, dagnabbit, we’ll take an aircraft carrier then!
Now who’s in charge of the USA while we’re over there?

MVO: I was thinking Chuck Norris, sir.

SFX (sing song): Happy 21st Mr Price- ident, happy birthday to you…