THAT MONKEY BUSINESS

Don't know why i wrote this. i just love spider monkeys. And gibbons, but this is a story about a spider monkey:




One day in 1997, Akphat the spider monkey decided to escape from his pen at the New York Zoo and return to Thailand.

He curled up on the floor of his cage like a dead spider, and waited.

When the zookeepers eventually opened his cage and prodded him with sticks, he shouted "Hooooooo," clambered over their backs and ran for it.

He vaulted the zoo wall like a Swiss high jump champion, to the cheers of watching Foons, Aquatic Lemurs, Ricklebacks and Sneeps.


The monkey then set off through the streets of New York, looking for Thailand. By mistake, he ended up at Toyland, where he was promptly hired as a package repairer, due to his nimble fingers.

His job was to repair Japanese robot toy packages damaged by
over-curious children who always tried to get at the toys inside.

While employed at Toyland, Akphat read two business manuals, one on banana farming, and the other on classical composition.

Akphat thought for a bit, thoughtfully. Since nearly all his family were in the banana trade, he opted to pursue a career in classical music.
He resigned on the spot, bit the store manager's shoe, and walked out.

Akphat applied for a position as conductor of the New York Philharmonic, and got it.

He was a roaring success, due to being able to wave his arms like windmills and bend them in four places.

Journalists who interviewed him found him eccentric yet endearing. He would always gnaw on the hems of their trousers during interviews. His most famous recorded comment was "Hooooooooo!"

Then Akphat suddenly disappeared from the social scene,
missing a vital recital of the "Messiah" one night.

No one heard of Akphat for years after that, although he did write to the Foons back the zoo, who were keeping mum on the issue.

Recent rumours place him on the Cambodian border, involved with a group of Shaolin chameleon monk warriors .

His alleged appearance on the Letterman show last week, was, alas,
A clever internet hoax staged by digital pirates from Butan.

According to sources, his closest friends are now a Scottish hermit called Trimaran, the Most Devout Dervish of Moragia,
and a small stuffed bear called Dent, all of whom were (allegedly) seen with Akphat himself, attempting to hitch a ride through the Biaritz area, in France.